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| Photo of the first performance of "Monument to 6%" (then titled "Identified 6%") in my studio at SFAI. Photo Cred: Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. |
I remember feeling like I needed to do something, but I also
knew that I wasn't ready to get out there on the front line of protest. Videos of black people, men, women and children,
being gunned down by police, were surfacing left and right on social media. The Black Lives Matter movement was
beginning, and gaining momentum. My
activist side said, “Do something”, but I knew I was in a state of intensive
self-care, nurturing old wounds and healing my spirit. Since I wasn’t in a space to give of myself
what protest, volunteering and activism demanded, I new I could at least give
from where I was at. This is where Monument to 6% came from.
It comes from a place of reaching to the past, to understand
and heal the now so that we can move forward into the future. It is a meditation and an homage to those
dying, and those still living under the threat of state-sanctioned
violence.
A year and 3 months from the birth of Monument to 6%, I still feel powerless to make change, I am still
meditating and black people are still being murdered. Of course, the violence, which this country
(the United States of America) is built upon, won’t end anytime soon. I know this.
But, it never gets an easier each time a new video surfaces (and each
time I add a name to the list).
I am at a point in my life where I have a lot of positive
transitions happening for me. I am
moving, about to start a new job and am excited for the pursuit and freedom of
my artistic career. And at the same
time, I am always worried, everyday for my cousin, who throws on his hoodie and
headphones and goes for these long and intense walks (he loves walking). I am worried cause I know his young black
male presence looks suspicious to white people.
I pray for his protection and our protection everyday.
All of this to say that I am trying to reconcile my
realities; there is the surface, where all seems fine for me, and there is the
underlying truth that all is not fine for us, for black people. I am not trying to be negative, but I am
trying to remind myself everyday that I am apart of a beautiful whole, a
community with rich history and a strong spirit of fight. Monument
to 6% is beautiful and it reflects this depth, but, of course, it is not
enough. It is nowhere near enough. It is not enough for me, my loved ones, and
my community.
As I move forward in my life, I am thinking very much about
how I can reach out, connect and participate in the external healing that
reflects my internal one. Monument to 6% is an ongoing meditation
that will end when the murder ends. For
me, it is time to do more. #blacklivesmatter
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| Photo Cred: Zulfikar Ali Bhutto |
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| Photo Cred: Zulfikar Ali Bhutto |
